Line 5

"But the bottom line is that I really do like being at home"

So, I have to admit that I sort of cheated on this...my ACTUAL 23rd post doesn't have five sentences, so I am using my 24th post, which seemed okay to me because otherwise the deeper meaning is what...that I'm brief? So I randomly chose the next post and this was the fifth line...interesting. I guess the deepest thing about me is that I'm a homebody. I think there's more to me than that, but it's certainly true. :o) It probably also says that I often feel like I have to justify my actions (a leftover from a childhood in which we were always required to do this...if you're sad/mad, you have to have a good reason, if you're sitting at home you'll be asked if you've thought of doing about 50 million other things that seem better than what you're doing, etc) Isn't it interesting to think about how such simple stuff shapes you as an adult? Actually, I will use the word "influences" instead of "shapes" because I believe I have control over what kind of person I am, and will never be one to lay blame on my childhood or anything else for who I am. Anyway, so that's me in a nutshell, a homebody who needs to justify herself. :o)

am I a spokesperson?

I recently joined something called CBS, it stands for Community Bible Study, and it is an organization started years ago that has spread all over the country (I think internationally as well, not sure). We are studying the book of Acts this year, from start to finish, my favorite way. Basically the way it works is that I am given a study to do each week that asks questions about the passage we are focusing on that particular week, it has about 4-8 questions to do each day of the week, and then once a week we meet as a group and discuss our answers, as well as hear a lecture about the passage. You end up learning about the passage 3 ways: on your own at home, in your small group discussion, and in the large group lecture. I've really enjoyed this way of studying Scripture.

My small group is made up mostly of "young women", mostly early to late twenties. It is interesting to me how different we all are. There is me, who, due to God's grace leading me to the amazing work of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in college, and also due to my own strong personality and giftedness from God, has a decent understanding of theology, the Scriptures, and my own convictions/beliefs. (sorry, long sentence) Then there are a couple of women who seem so young (to me! and I AM young!), so unsure of themselves and what it means to love and follow Jesus. Most excitingly to me there is also a young woman from Japan who is not a believer, but whom I am praying for! It's an interesting mix.

Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is because, well, first of all this is my blog so I guess I just wanted to, but also because one of the women I described above as seeming young and unsure, said something that made me very sad a couple of weeks ago and I have been praying about it ever since. She is very nervous when she answers questions, and at one point she seemed particularly flustered when we were discussing witnessing (a common theme in Acts), she got very flushed and said:
"I never want to be seen as a spokesperson for religion" (imagine a disgusted emphasis on the word "religion")

It broke my heart. Here is a woman who is probably older than me (I'm not sure) and the only understanding she has of what it means to tell people about Jesus is akin to that of a cheesy Tel-evangelist! Right then and there the LORD put her on my heart and I have been praying for her and for ways to help her see witnessing as what it REALLY is. But this got me thinking because what is it? Especially when one of the only two woman over 30 in the group said that quote, something like "Tell everyone about Jesus, when necessary, use words." Now I understand that we are witnessing with our actions, I even agree that people remember how you treat them more than what you tell them, I also believe that your actions, your behavior, those are the things that make up character...but I think this quote is abused.

If I am nice to everyone, always avoid gossip, stay late at work to help out, etc, etc...people will think what:

A. She's a great co-worker and nice person

OR

B. She must love Jesus a lot!!

Seriously, of course it's A! You have to TELL people why you're doing what you are, because Jesus was a servant, and I want to be one too, right? So, here is my very non-brilliant, non-alliterated summation of witnessing:

1. Unavoidable: Your actions and behavior tell people who you are and what you are about. All the gospel preaching in the world is for not if you are cruel, untrustworthy, selfish, etc. You witness to Christ with your whole life, or you witness to something else (like lust, greed, power)

2. It requires speaking and boldness (which require the guidance of the Holy Spirit). We are so afraid to say the name Jesus! I find myself afraid to even say that I go to a Bible Study...do I think Jesus is ugly? harsh? cruel? too difficult? not good enough? This leads to...

3. Jesus is BEAUTIFUL, He is what every heart was created to desire after: the Way to a relationship with our Father and Creator that lasts an eternity. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says: "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men..." The Lord gave us the desire to know Him and be with Him forever, this is why we fear and despise death, because we were not created for death! We were created for eternity, for life, for worshiping the Father and enjoying His pleasure.

::sigh:: So I will continue praying for the young woman in my group, for all the young women in my group as well as myself, that we would all embrace witnessing and ask the Holy Spirit to empower us as He did Peter, Paul, and millions of others.

p.s. I am very excited about all this, if I said anything that doesn't seem theologically sound, please, please, post and let me know what you think...